Imaginary Interviews #4: A Day in the Life of a Dirt Particle
For near 20 years I wrote a column called Synthetic Solutions for the National Oil & Lube News. One of my articles addressed the importance of filtration in an engine. I suddenly had a notion to not just write about filters, but to interview a dirt particle so that I could offer up an “inside story.”
As luck would have it, while preparing my column I had a rare opportunity to interview a talking dirt particle by the name of Dirtamus Silicapoulis. Not often is one afforded a first person account regarding what actually happens inside an engine. Here are some excerpts from our discussion.
Mr. Silicapoulis, or “Tiny” (as he prefers to be called), asked that I not reveal his address or phone number because of the engine damage he has done. He doesn’t want his past to come back to haunt him.
Ennyman: How much experience have you had destroying car engines?
Tiny: Well, personally, I have only been involved with vandalizing one car engine. But I come from a very large family, and my kin have been destroying engines for decades.
Ennyman: What do dirt particles do on a typical day?
Tiny: Mostly you’ll just find us hanging out, suspended in air somewhere. Dirt particles are generally a fairly passive lot. We go with the…
