It’s Your Fault, Friend, So Don’t Blame Me

“I had no control over it.”

Ed Newman
1 min readOct 19, 2023


Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

It’s not my fault I stole your car,
It’s your fault that you put it thar.
You left it unlocked, keys in the ignition,
Just begging for me to assume possession.

I know it’s wrong, but I couldn’t resist,
The temptation so great and I’m sorry you’re pissed.
Indeed I hopped in and drove it away
With a smile on my face. What can I say?

But now you’re mad, you phoned the police,
Calling me a menace and a thief.
But I’m not the bad guy, as I’m sure you can see,
It’s your fault, friend, for leaving it for me.

So next time, lock it and hide the keys
If you don’t want it taken for a breeze.
And if you do catch me, don’t be mad,
Just try to be happy you still have your Cad.

Disclaimer: This poem is satirical and does not condone car theft.



Ed Newman

An avid reader who writes about arts, culture, literature & other life obsessions. @ennyman3 Look for my books on Amazon